I am definitely one of the people who reflexively feels the need to defend social media although just as often I stress that we remain clear-eyed about it’s harms. And to answer your question - I think it is possible to use it as a tool, to keep it in its place, and be intentional about our use of it. BUT it takes effort, and commitment, and firm boundary-keeping, and a healthy awareness of how our ancient brains are not evolved to make good decisions about this modern tech, therefore we have to help them out by planning ahead and making it easy for ourselves to avoid it when the executive functioning part of our brain is tired and the autopilot takes over (which is often in this capitalist hell scape)!! We’ve been far too passive for far too long in our efforts to keep these tools in their place but that doesn’t mean all is lost. Ps. this is an area of special interest for me which means I sometimes come across as slightly unhinged when talking about 😆 apologies
No apologies needed! I love that this is something you think about so deeply (though I wish you, and the rest of us, didn't have to) and I fully agree that it takes a LOT of intentional work to set healthier boundaries with social media. The people who develop these sites/apps know how to weaponize the way our brains work so that we stay engaged, and it's our job to recognize when that's happening and be somewhat strict with ourselves when it comes to breaking away. One of my pals here on Substack once described it as treating himself like a small child: "I think you've had enough of that today, let's do something else" etc etc.
The political situation in the US - and let’s be honest, a swing towards the far right is happening everywhere else too - is horrifying. That same naivety and misplaced trust in common goodwill is what I felt following our(UK) departure from Europe and every subsequent misguided decision. Social media has been at forefront of all of this and has been weaponised to great (deadly) effect.
I stumbled into 2025 exhausted. There has to be a better way than our current toxic relationship with social media. However, so long as it remains in the hands of tech bros who only care about their shareholders, I don’t think it will change.
In recent months I’ve been longing for a quieter web. I grew up in a time before the modern social media platforms. Where connection was found on forums, chat rooms, guestbooks and web rings. I’ve been exploring the indie web more and more, and I miss that personal self expression that used to be so commonplace.
Some of the fundamental technologies of the web - rss feeds and link lists - feel like a more intentional, more personal way forward. I’m done with algorithms that force clickbait drivel on me and don’t even let me see the updates from the people I want to see.
While it’s hard to untangle from social media and not something I can do overnight, I’m slowly moving back to blogging and away from social media as my primary platform. Managing my own website is not as convenient - that’s how they keep us trapped - but there is life outside social media (even online), you just have to look hard to find it.
I'm re-entering online spaces after a very extended time away, and I'm already noticing how anxious I am to check for comments, likes and other signs that someone out there is listening. I remember well my early days of blogging, when it came to feek like I was narrating my life in my head in order to find content to blog about. And this is when blogs and Twitter were the only two platforms folks really used...pre-Instagram and when Facebook was mostly personal updates from old college friends. Even before this, using AIM and chatrooms were addictive and made you desperate for some kind of engagement.
I'm not sure if it's even possible to separate this need for validation and connection from the Internet, or whether there is a "back" to go to, because the way online communities make us feel is so human.
Loved reading your thoughts! I can’t count how many times I’ve been sucked into a seemingly endless scroll, only to feel worse once I snap out of it.
AAAAA LOVE YOU
☺️💛💛💛
I am definitely one of the people who reflexively feels the need to defend social media although just as often I stress that we remain clear-eyed about it’s harms. And to answer your question - I think it is possible to use it as a tool, to keep it in its place, and be intentional about our use of it. BUT it takes effort, and commitment, and firm boundary-keeping, and a healthy awareness of how our ancient brains are not evolved to make good decisions about this modern tech, therefore we have to help them out by planning ahead and making it easy for ourselves to avoid it when the executive functioning part of our brain is tired and the autopilot takes over (which is often in this capitalist hell scape)!! We’ve been far too passive for far too long in our efforts to keep these tools in their place but that doesn’t mean all is lost. Ps. this is an area of special interest for me which means I sometimes come across as slightly unhinged when talking about 😆 apologies
No apologies needed! I love that this is something you think about so deeply (though I wish you, and the rest of us, didn't have to) and I fully agree that it takes a LOT of intentional work to set healthier boundaries with social media. The people who develop these sites/apps know how to weaponize the way our brains work so that we stay engaged, and it's our job to recognize when that's happening and be somewhat strict with ourselves when it comes to breaking away. One of my pals here on Substack once described it as treating himself like a small child: "I think you've had enough of that today, let's do something else" etc etc.
oh gosh I completely agree with your friend - like trying to put the half eaten family sized chocolate bar back in the cupboard!!
Excellent post. Thanks for sharing❤️
The political situation in the US - and let’s be honest, a swing towards the far right is happening everywhere else too - is horrifying. That same naivety and misplaced trust in common goodwill is what I felt following our(UK) departure from Europe and every subsequent misguided decision. Social media has been at forefront of all of this and has been weaponised to great (deadly) effect.
I stumbled into 2025 exhausted. There has to be a better way than our current toxic relationship with social media. However, so long as it remains in the hands of tech bros who only care about their shareholders, I don’t think it will change.
In recent months I’ve been longing for a quieter web. I grew up in a time before the modern social media platforms. Where connection was found on forums, chat rooms, guestbooks and web rings. I’ve been exploring the indie web more and more, and I miss that personal self expression that used to be so commonplace.
Some of the fundamental technologies of the web - rss feeds and link lists - feel like a more intentional, more personal way forward. I’m done with algorithms that force clickbait drivel on me and don’t even let me see the updates from the people I want to see.
While it’s hard to untangle from social media and not something I can do overnight, I’m slowly moving back to blogging and away from social media as my primary platform. Managing my own website is not as convenient - that’s how they keep us trapped - but there is life outside social media (even online), you just have to look hard to find it.
I'm re-entering online spaces after a very extended time away, and I'm already noticing how anxious I am to check for comments, likes and other signs that someone out there is listening. I remember well my early days of blogging, when it came to feek like I was narrating my life in my head in order to find content to blog about. And this is when blogs and Twitter were the only two platforms folks really used...pre-Instagram and when Facebook was mostly personal updates from old college friends. Even before this, using AIM and chatrooms were addictive and made you desperate for some kind of engagement.
I'm not sure if it's even possible to separate this need for validation and connection from the Internet, or whether there is a "back" to go to, because the way online communities make us feel is so human.